Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
