ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
