Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
