Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
