He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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