fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
