All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
