Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
