I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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