somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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