Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
