Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
