dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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