accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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