Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it was like eating out sand paper
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
