i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
