I hope mine doesn't look like that
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
