Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
