if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
