jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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