the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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