maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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