I must be too annoying 4 u.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
