She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
