i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
