I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
