I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
