Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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