do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
