i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
