No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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