My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it's like iHOP with fire
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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