we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
