So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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