I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
