If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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