So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
