she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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