That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
