I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
