I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
