Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
