i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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