we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
