i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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