the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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