Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
