there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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