I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
