when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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