His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
